What is being genuine?
Posted by on July 9, 2016
Ever wondered if someone is being genuine? Often our bodies and minds interact to tell us – some people call it a gut feeling – here’s some pointers towards recognising true genuine reactions both within yourself and others…
G = Get your listening (and hearing) ears on – thank you Judge Judy 😉
E = Engage and be compassionate
N = Notice and show that you notice
U = Understand, be authentic and accept…
I = Interested and Inquisitive
N = Non-judegemental
E = Empathise and hold
“Honesty is the highest form of intimacy”
Posted by on July 7, 2016
Ever felt that someone (or yourself) was saying something which just didn’t add up or feel real?…Mis-communication is not just about ‘not getting’; what someone else means or not saying what it is you want to really say -It’s a complete experience which we often forget includes our bodies, behaviours and thoughts…
Communication isn’t just about talking… take a moment today to notice what it is people around you are honestly communicating without saying a word…and then maybe wonder what it is you are honestly ‘saying’ in return – you may be surprised at what you ‘hear’
Birthdays – How present are you?
Posted by on June 10, 2016
So the Queen celebrates her 90th Birthday this weekend and I wonder how she feels about it? I wonder what gift you would give her? How many of us actually stop to think about what our day of birth really means to us?
Celebrating, or not celebrating, the gift of life is such a personal experience and for us all individually we may have many associations and feelings attached to the time frame around the actual day as well as on the day itself. And then there is the present/gift thing – the moment when we give and the moment - Read More
Because Relationships matter…
Posted by on May 26, 2016
Struggling in relationships with family, friends, work colleagues or loved ones can undermine our mental well being leaving us deflated, irritable and exhausted.
Healthy relationships develop when we make time to nurture them.
In a world of social media it can be tempting to lose ourselves in a cyber world and neglect those in our immediate vicinity.
Staying present with friends, family and loved ones is an important part of making and keeping healthy connections.
Listening to what other people are saying in a non-judgemental way and concentrating on their needs at that moment communicates trust and acceptance. They are talking to you because - Read More
When you can’t make a session…
Posted by on April 30, 2016
Yesterday there was a counselling time slot when I would normally have been seeing a client but due to a pre-arranged situation she was unable to make our session together. People have asked me what do you do in that time?
The simple truth is that I sit quietly in my counselling room and I think about the client. And so it was that yesterday I sat in the silence reflecting on my client and the world she has faced and faces and her deep courage in doing so. And I wrote. I wrote everything I know about her but not - Read More
Happiness
Posted by on March 18, 2016
Are you swinging from feeling anxious, scared or on guard to thinking quick I must ‘do’ something, only then to swing back to anxiety and then doing again? Sometimes we think if we could just do this one thing, or change this one part of our lives we will be happy.
For me happiness occurs when we can nurture and create an environment both within us and outside of us for happiness to thrive.
Often striving to achieve the one thing that we think will change our lives makes us frustrated, unhappy, stressed and agitated as we try to grapple - Read More
Rage and Shame – two ‘happy’ bedfellows
Posted by on March 11, 2016
Trauma manifests itself in many ways. Two signals or symptoms of trauma that often go hand in hand are rage and shame – phenomena’s that create enormous feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Pierre Janet’s simple definition of trauma is ‘there was nobody there.’ meaning there was literally no-one there, or there was no-one there who wasn’t themselves traumatised and therefore unable to help or no-one was there because the other person was an abuser.
Experiencing feelings of rage and shame can often occur when an individual hasn’t been able to come to terms with the hostile and attacking environment of the traumatic - Read More
Self Care
Posted by on February 29, 2016
‘Self care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. Anytime we can listen to our true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch’ (Parker Palmer).
What does self-care mean to you and how do you make time for you every day?
We are not meant to be islands…
Posted by on February 10, 2016
A few months ago I was in a shop that was playing some music and without really thinking I began to hum and then sing those odd words that you know (or at least you think you know!) As I mooched around the aisles I began to notice I was not alone in my mumbled warbling’s and as I reached down for a bag of flour, a voice from behind me said “keep going girl”.
Temporarily confused but also mildly amused at being called a girl (THANKYOU!) I stood up, flour in hand, and met the eyes of a lady in her - Read More
Depression – Sharing with you one person’s story
Posted by on February 6, 2016
Beating Depression – Sharing with you one clients personal story of recovery- please read to the end if you feel able to
“For years I thought why me, why do I feel as though it’s always my fault, why is it always like this, why does nothing change, people give me all this help and advice and i just don’t seem to be able to do anything with it.
And then I realised, the only person blocking my recovery was me – but I had my reasons …right? That old chestnut, never fails to keep you stuck…
I had the choice to feel - Read More
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